10 things I’d like to tell my 17 year-old self

well, like sara, i also had to wait 5 years to grow into my nose.

1. swim smarter, not harder. you're always going to be scrawny, so don't bother lifting weights to "get big." just pretend that you're struggling & working hard when the coaches/teammates/othergirlsintheweightroom are looking.


2. don't go skiing in january. you'll tear your LCL and it will hurt. a lot.


3. take an art class.
   yeah, one that requires you to be critiqued and graded for what you "think looks cool." constructive criticism is good! and they probably wouldn't understand it anyway.


4. go to college. and go to northwest for your first year of college, you'll love it. then hate it, then want to leave. and that's okay.


5. don't spend $28 on an urban outfitters t-shirt. you're cool without it.


6. even though you want to get your lip pierced, don't do it. it will leave a mark. trust me.


7. don't let freshmen play "kick jeff's car game" after swim practice. dad is going to be pissed.


8. take off your headphones that are blaring dashboard confessional when you're walking around in the hallway. life isn't that bad & i swear someone understands what you're going through.


9. you've got a master key to the high school, use it wisely. & more often.


10. utilize your class time wisely, and by wisely, i mean work on the kansas city star crossword puzzle during class so you can finish it before kimberly does.

reasons you should move to kansas city #1

i'll take you to legendary places like this:

even the worst people, like a st. louisan & a east coaster, can be awakened to the wondrous joy that kansas city embodies.

4 years later...

and a total of 18 roommates, 4 colleges, 3.5 years of school,  3 different cities, 2 degrees, 2 summers of summer school, 1 missing semester, and i'm a college graduate.

maybe i'll give graduate school a shot, and keep the transfer rate to a lower number.

ole!

When people see my crooked finger, I often retell my made up story of getting in a bar fight.  The story goes: my finger got caught on a nail on a bar stool right as I was going to crush it over Patrick's head in disputing the logic on my mother's words of wisdom relating to violence.  "If someone hits you, hit them back." Of course, no one believes me-- my mother actually did say that. The bar fight never happened at a bar. It happened at home.

However, this story of my cut on my nose needs some refining after some trial runs on the truth. While collecting supplies for Emily & Lynnette's 22nd Birthday Bash, we (Patrick, Addison, Jarred, & I) needed to grab a large green bowl to chill the copious amount of iced 2 liter Diet Coke bottles needed to keep the party going. Addison retrieved the bowl, hopped back into the front seat of the car, and proceeded to toss it into the backseat with little regard to the spatial awareness of  how close my head was to the back of his headrest. Bam. Bombs were dropped. Twice actually and then I felt better.

Earlier this morning, someone misinterpreted my usage of the word "bowl" as the word "bull" when I explained what happened to my face. I was actually pleased that someone would actually fathom/guess that an interaction involving a bull & myself as being a plausible event featured on my weekend.

However, "Wow, what a cool scar" and "You look really hardcore" were phrases that I did not hear verbally, but I knew they were thinking that anyway.

I think I may stick with my newly acquired scar story as the result of a feral animal with horns as opposed to a piece of plastic with it's intended use to hold liquid cocaine for women.

religious family recipes

Although religion is not a particulary divisive topic of conversation, it is not something most emerging adults talk about with their friends or romantic partners. Whatever subjects friends do talk about, religious beliefs and interest are simply not among them--beyond perhaps finding out that someone is Catholic or Jewish. For most emerging adults, that is because religion is simply not important or relevant enough to everyday life to warrant any real discussion. In that, religion is like favorite family recipes: people often have them and may even love them, but they don't necessarily want to discuss them.

page 153. Souls in Transition: The Religious & Spiritual Lives of Emerging Adults by Christian Smith w/ Patricia Snell.

like and laugh

i like this:

i'm a fan of women in brown boots. (oncewed)

& i laugh at that:

When white people harvests a crop it’s known as “berry picking” or “pick your own fruit.”  Under these conditions, white people are expected to work leisurely with no real expectations and then they pay for the privilege to do so. In other words, berry picking is the agricultural equivalent to a private liberal arts college. It’s no surprise white people like it, because much like a liberal arts degree it feels like you’ve done real work when you really haven’t. #Picking your own fruit, SWPL

year in review! part2

july:

this summer was an awkward summer because i did not work or take summer school. i taught sunday school and was casted as the lead role in my family's hit drama series entitled "two-divorced-families-living-under-one-roof-with-two-teenage-girls." i spent the summer traveling back & forth playing big brother.
the best idea of the year was to recruit a brigade of women (&jeff) to drive cross-country to SCOTTSDALE, AZ to pick up my brother & fiance from culinary school.

15 y/o diva (stepsis) + 16 y/o sis(fullofangst)
18 y/o girl cousin + 47 y/o neurotic mother
+       21 y/o male college student + small SUV

RECIPE FOR CHAOS

highlights:

• my mother mastering the art of chain smoking in the backseat in the middle of the night. (yes, we drove the entire way)


• my sister & i bonding over our circumstance that we were in. driving in the middle of the southwest at 3am listening to taylor swift while our crew slept through the night. i feel like i know what it feels like to be a teenage girl after listening to "fearless" with my sister for the night. lots of emotions.


• i drove the graveyard shift of midnight-8am and kept everyone alive.


• i convinced my soon-to-be-step-sister that 1) rat tails were cool & 2) to let me braid a rat-tail. if you know me at all, i love rat tails. especially braided ones.

august:

one of my dear friends-that-i-didnt-really-know-was-one-of-my-best-friends-at-the-time andy married one of my dear-friends-that-i-didnt-know-we-were-actually-friend-emilys-dear-friend linds. then they moved to korea & blogged about it.

[caption id="" align="alignnone" width="500" caption="(photo by bethany michaela)"][/caption]

addison had a brilliant idea. the idea was to get a grand group of guys to go galavant and gather good times in the woods. well, numbers dwindled and dedication flopped. so my trusty ex-best-friend-patrick and i set sail for what is practically canada with addison as our leader.

[caption id="attachment_181" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="we unfortunately had to "camp" out at a "family camp" because the transmission broke just outside of minnesota"][/caption]

[caption id="attachment_182" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="at this point, i had already set down a tarp to play scrabble and read harry potter."][/caption]

we even stopped by the pyrotechnics guild international show in mason city while hitching a ride with a man who said he was a college professor & wrote books on speed reading & liked college students. we're college students and i liked the idea of speed reading, so we went.



we made it to canada, kind of. addison & i didn't bring out passports while patrick made a vow to never leave the united states of uhmerka.



we camped, we sang, we smoked cloves, we hiked, we read. we survived the storm of the century in which i didn't know i could pray for 4 hours for my life. patrick lost most of his food. i brought clif bars and sealed food in nasty wrappers. i crocheted a fishing net, that was really a lacrosse stick. addison whittled spears. patrick read...a lot. we left with our heads down because we packed a tent from the 70's that only held 2 and our "shanty" didn't quite make it through the night. rained out and slightly irate, we left our little getaway.

september:

i moved into a beautiful new east campus home (haha) named 516 with 4 dudes. ok, this actually happened in august, but september was a slow month. here is a never before seen 516 family photo circa tall john.

[caption id="attachment_184" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="sounds about right"][/caption]

october:

i went to my first, hopefully not last, NASCAR race with my mothers-current-boyfriend-or-fiance-yet-she-wears-a-wedding-band-and-engagement-ring-that-he-bought-her-but-my-mom-keeps-saying-not-yet.

after 2 long months or so of training for this wretched half-marathon, i did it.
i also decided that i was not going to wear shorts because after training on the MKT, i noticed that all of the hardcore runners just wore tights and a shirt. therefore, game time, no shorts was the only option. dress for the job you want, yanno.

i finished at 1:47. not bad for my first time half-marathon.

[caption id="attachment_187" align="aligncenter" width="300" caption="i also noticed that all of the hardcore runners were drinking beer after their race. "drink like you have the job you want.""][/caption]

november:

i started a small cottage business. crocheting little headbands for hip girls to wear. then my wrist started to hurt, so i stopped. fail.

december:

i passed spanish 3 and officially completed all the spanish required by the university of missouri-columbia for a bachelor of arts in blah blah blah.

the 4th ANNUAL YANKEE SWAP rang in the holiday season with my high school friends & company. ed hardy hats, 5foot tall pencils, 10 commandments bible games, sarah palin autobiography hollowed out enclosed with a condom labeled "stimulus package" with a photo of obama on the casing+ pack of marlboro lights+ bottle of jim beam, recycled gifts from last year, a stolen sorority lamp from kappa alpha theta, and many others.

year in review! part 1

january:

• i rang in the new year clutching a toilet in TULSA, OK while visiting my best friend's (now)ex-girlfriend. happy new year jeff, from you irritable bowl syndrome ridden stomach/colon.
  
  [caption id="attachment_158" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="seen dancing at a piano bar in chacos."][/caption]


• i double-handedly managed to gain 15lbs over winter break from bathing in boulevard wheat.

february:

• happy 21st birthday to me!


• fly to ARIZONA visit my brother & his fiance. celebrations!


• 5 days later, i got food poisoning from subway.


• 1 day later, i awoke in the middle of my slumber on a cold winter night, crawled into the bathroom, and said my prayers to the porcelain gods. next, i stumbled into patrick's room & gave my plea for my concerned stomach. "go away," patrick scowled from the room. i retreat to my bed, pass out, & drive myself to the hospital. 8 hours later, i have my appendix removed.

[caption id="attachment_157" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="guilty: i still wear/own a pair of hollister clothing. just one."][/caption]

march:

• by god's grace, i packed my fanny pack, gardening hat, and frisbee to venture on down to HARMONS, JAMAICA for spring break with some college friends.

april:

• the world's worst show came to columbia, missouri & set up this masterpiece of carnival.

[caption id="attachment_162" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="cheers, jeers, awkward, hooray, elated, irked, & baffled."][/caption]

may:

• once the semester ended with a bang, patrick & i set sail for a road trip.

A: leave KANSAS CITY, MO
B: DAYTON, OH - stay with Matt, patrick's  friend from L'Abri, played Scrabble, drank beer, et al.
C: COLUMBUS, OH - stay with Dave, a friend from Young Life Work Crew I met 5 years ago. Dave ran us into the ground with dirty Margaritas, fanny pack+mustache dance parties, hipster bikes, and late night hookah sessions into the morning. + Thurmans Cafe


D: MIDDLE OF NOWHERE, PA we decided to experience the "great outdoors" in the smoky mountains. pft. worst night ever.
E: NEW HAVEN, CT - YALE. the journey to Yale, to visit our prestigious pop-locking-dropping friend bryan.

[caption id="attachment_166" align="aligncenter" width="500" caption="yalies playing beer pong on campus post senior festivities"][/caption]



Bonus Jonas: trekked to the beautiful town, (seriously) of AMHERST, MA to visit the birthplace of emily dickinson. thrifting ensued, tours of the home were crashed, amherst brewing company was seized.

june:

• definitely didn't do summer school.


• ventured to st. louis for an incredible wedding. ben & amys!

nachos!

hilarious tweet from yesterday.
*miss katie is a k-5 elementary art teacher in an urban school in downtown kansas city.

13.1

i started training for this past weekend's half-marathon in august. i trained all throughout august & september and tapered in october like scheduled. i feel healthier and more accomplished. i mean, its okay to have this neat feeling of accomplishment. i put in this effort & i get this result. boom. cause & effect. this helps my engineer and formulaic side of myself make sense of life.

---

lynnette, kaitlyn, meredith & i set sail on friday night for kansas city from columbia. on the drive, we debated and discussed who was the least healthiest/trained for the race. all the while stopping at quiktrip to ensure that we were all on level playing field the night before. diet cokes and taquitos, chips, & other things that are generally not-not-healthy were consumed in justification of "resuming normal eating habits." i usually have a diet coke, 3 cups of coffee, and 2 nalgene's a day.


lynnette had a great idea to preoccupy our minds/hearts/souls/brains during the race. for each mile, write down a name/group of people to be praying for while we ran for that mile. it worked out so great and really felt pretty content while running. not focusing on my stride, my steps, or little things in front of me that usually distract me & my groove.

pre-race photo at 6:00am. nope, i'm not going to sorority recruitment. or confused that tights constitute as actual pants, but am wearing my uggs pre-race to ensure my toes are not oppressed anymore than they are everyday through shoes. knowing i would have to wear blasted shoes & socks for under 2 hours.

post-race photo at like 9:40isham. kaitlyn (on the far right) vom'd during the race & still finished. she's a D1 athlete, so that was no sweat. i would have marked it as a loss if anything besides sweat or pee came from my body at an unexpected time during the race. notice: im clutching my iphone like a little boy returning home from camp without his blanket because his mother wouldn't let him take it with him to camp because of other kids making fun of him. after the race, i enjoyed my free boulevard stout beer. :)

however, i didn't actually run as myself though. i ran as someone else. (i don't know how illegal that is, probably a liability) but that one goes down in the books for emmy. i forgot to register & emmy got sick.  overall, i ran a 1:47:40. my goal was under 2 hours & i done did it. :) i plan on running the st. louis half-marathon in april & beating that time.